I unfortunately spent far too much of my adult life treating spending money like it was an extreme sport. No, seriously. If there was a “Put It in the Cart” Olympic event, I would have been a gold medalist. Does it look cute? Add to cart. Does it promise to make my life just a tiny bit easier? Add to cart. Does my kid drop a desperate “please, please, please” with a side of puppy eyes? In the cart it goes! My shopping cart was basically the Bermuda Triangle of impulse buys, where money went to disappear. And let’s be real–my wallet was definitely not as bottomless as I liked to imagine. The problem was I never really paused to ask myself if all these purchases even aligned with what I actually cared about in life. Sound familiar?
Let me tell you: once I shifted gears and started ensuring my spending was in sync with my values, everything started to click. The chaos melted away, and suddenly, I wasn’t overspending anymore because I discovered how to actually be in control—and it feels really, really good.
Why Aligning Spending with Your Values Matters
Here’s the thing—when you align your spending with your personal values, something kind of magical happens: the guilt and stress of swiping your card start to vanish. Instead of feeling like your bank account is on a never-ending diet, you start to feel more at peace. You’re no longer throwing your money around for things you don’t even care about. Instead, you’re intentionally investing in what truly matters to you, and that brings a sense of satisfaction that goes way beyond the instant thrill of a shopping spree. It’s like unlocking a cheat code to a life that’s not just financially sound, but emotionally fulfilling, too.
So, How Do You Do This?
Don’t worry—it’s easier than you think. Really! All it takes is a few small tweaks to how you approach spending, and you’ll find that both your wallet and your well-being will thank you.
1. Identify Your Core Values
First things first: take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you in life. Not sure where to start? Google “list of core values,” and you’ll find a buffet of options. Go ahead—pick a few that really speak to your soul. If you’re feeling extra ambitious, make a list of your top 10 values. Think of it like creating your very own compass to guide your financial journey. Here is my personal list to help you get started:
- Faith
- Children / Parenting
- Family
- Friends
- Health
- Home
- Self-Care
- Financial Freedom
- Pets
- Love of Literature
- Creativity
- Growth
- Experiences
- Compassion
- Curiosity
- Fun
- Learning
- Meaningful Work
- Peace
- Responsibility
2. Create a Spending Plan That Actually Makes Sense
Alright, grab your favorite pen (or spreadsheet, no judgment here), and track every single penny you spend for 30 days. Write down the date, item, and cost—no sneaky omissions allowed. At the end of the month, bust out your handy dandy highlighters and color-code your transactions by category. Group similar purchases together into a single category, then list out your categories. Now comes the big question: Does each category line up with one of your core values? If you can’t find a clear connection, maybe it’s time to rethink where you’re putting your money. Here’s a peek at how I break down my budget:
| Budget Category | Personal Values |
|---|---|
| Bills | Family, Children, Home |
| Groceries | Family, Children, Health |
| Medical | Children, Self-Care, Health |
| Home Helpers | Self-Care, Home |
| Online / Miscellaneous | *** |
| Gas | Family, Friends, Children, Self-Care, Fun |
| Eating Out | Family, Friends, Fun |
| Kid’s Allowance | Children, Parenting, Financial Freedom, Responsibility |
| Fun | *** |
| Kids’ Extracurricular Activities | Children, Parenting |
| Kids’ School Expenses | Children, Parenting |
| Savings | Financial Freedom |
| Debt | Financial Freedom |
Note: My Miscellaneous and Fun categories get a little more TLC than the others. Instead of aligning these categories to a core value, I treat each individual purchase like its own little decision-making adventure. So, whenever I’m about to drop cash on something fun—or anything that doesn’t neatly fit into my other categories—I hit pause and ask myself, “What core value does this align with?”
For example, buying my child a new book? That’s a big win for love of literature. But splurging on a fancy Keurig machine? Well, that doesn’t exactly scream self-care or family bonding. Even though I’d love to live my best “homemade iced coffee” life, I had to admit that a $100 coffee maker wasn’t exactly going to bring me closer to enlightenment. So, I intentionally gave that purchase the cold shoulder (pun intended).
3. Make Intentional Purchases
This is where the magic happens. Before you hit “Add to Cart” or swipe that debit card, pause and ask yourself, “Does this purchase align with any of my core values?” I’ve made this process a little more tangible for myself by turning it into a fun little ritual. Whenever something non-essential catches my eye, I add it to a personal wish list. And I’m not just jotting down the item; I get detailed. I include the item, the cost, where I can buy it, a description of why I want it, and—most importantly—what core value it aligns with (if it does at all).
At the end of the month, when I’m wrapping up my budget, I look back at that wish list. If something doesn’t connect to a personal value, I make a very easy decision to let it go. For the items that I had to squint really hard to link to a value, I ask myself, “Am I really aligning this with a core value, or am I just trying to convince myself that I need it?” And for the things that perfectly align with my values? I make a plan to buy them—either budgeting for them the next month or putting them off until later, depending on my income and priorities.
So, next time you’re eyeing a non-essential purchase, ask yourself: “Does this align with my core values?” If it does, congrats! You’ve made an intentional choice to buy something that truly matters. Go ahead, bask in the warm glow of making a purchase that adds real value to your life. But if you can’t link it to any of your values? Well, you’ve just made a conscious decision not to buy—and that’s worth celebrating, too! After all, saving money and feeling good about it? That’s a win-win.
Take-Away
At the end of the day, aligning your spending with your values doesn’t just help your wallet stay intact—it creates a deeper sense of fulfillment and control. Have you taken a moment recently to reflect on what really matters to you? If not, give it a shot. You might find that making sure your spending aligns with your values is the simplest way to transform your finances—and your life—into something that feels more intentional, fulfilling, and just a little less chaotic.
So, go ahead—ditch those impulse buys and embrace a more thoughtful approach to your finances. Trust me, your wallet (and your inner peace) will thank you for it.